Husband’s child- wife’s child?

As I am in bed due to injury for the last 2 weeks one of my friends who is unfortunately  entangled in a messy divorce,498A and a child custody case came to visit me .I have gone through divorce and 498A and know the pain it can cause shaking the roots of your existance,while the lawyers are busy taking adjournments the harassed party finds himself/herself in a hopeless position where he is at mercy of others who treat all this as a routine work just like people go to office- being non emotional and non receptive the pain of the client. May be they are right to some extent, may be they become immune but the immunity seems to be for the pain of  husbands only, a womans tears give any  man a chance to prove that he is a good samatarian. The whole  system seems to be made like that or is developing into such state.

My friend was sad because when he met his young child during  the proceedings after almost 1 year the child was not at all friendly and ran away telling the father ” aap gande ho ( you are  bad man).

sadly but usually the parent having the custody of child is in a position to influence the tender thought process of child so as to estrange the child from the other parent.

what is the child in such a case: a pawn in the game of power play?

and why nobody understands the fact that the parent who does so is not in reality a wellwisher of child but still has the custody because she is a woman.

The child will grow up with a dislike for father  was the fear which I could sense.

And he said: “Everyone including me thinks he is my child but now he is just my wifes child, I am just the person who pays for his upkeep knowing that he will not even perform my funeral rites so i freed him from this obligation also.from now onward I will call him child of my wife.”

A sentimental and stupid statement it may seem but it shows the pain of losing a child who is still alive but becomes non existant for the father except for the purpose of seeking maintenance.

those who have not passed through all this will find it a vulgar and derogatory statement if the logic behind this statement is not given and those who have faced it in past will agree to it with a sigh. and the system will say “it happens this way only- you come out of this idiotic depression, dont think much ,limit urself to giving money.

It is easier to soothe your senses by thinking ” children belong to our wives and not to us- we are just fathers in name” so I told him to just act like an ATM machine for the child till he grows up to be sensible enough to understand things on an independent level.May be one day the child himself or the mother or the system itself understands the pain.

May be one day the child comes back to us but till then we can call him- My wifes child so that we dont mess up our lives and repeatedly go in depression because in that case we may not be even able to maintain the child and lose him.

पुस्तकस्थापिता विद्या परहस्तगत धनं |

देशांतरगतः पुत्रः नाम मात्रमुपाचरेत ||

the knowledge which is limited to books, wealth which is in hands of others and a son who is in foreign lands are useful in name only.


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