Re- Living Hell for a swot analysis.

Last month I completed 41 years of my life and wondered about the ugly turn which my life took in last 7 years.Once upon a time every year around my birthday I used to go to Mcleodganj in himachal pradesh for 2 days for life in isolation,introspection.These two days used to be devoted to analyze my past years,my achievements,setbacks,opportunities en cashed and missed in short to do what is called as SWOT analysis by management people.

Birthdays used to be a day full of wishes and friends and happiness. In last seven years everything changed,I never had the spare money to go to Mcleodganj for my life in seclusion because I was dependent upon my mother and sister and was engaged in a costly legal battle with my ex wife and on second thoughts there was no need to go to Mcleodganj for 2 days of seclusion when your public appearance has been limited to court appearance once or twice a month.I have been living in seclusion for past 7 years and my public life is such that except my mother,sisters and a friend,no one even remembered my birthday, for most I no longer exist.

It is not that I didnt gain anything ,It is said that adversity does make a salesman rich,it makes him wise.In seclusion I studied the basics of vedic astrology because a good person guided me free of cost,I studied Hinduism,read Mahabharata and Gita in detail,studied Atharva Veda, puranas, studied law,studied about concepts of social justice apart from basics of astrology including BPHS and a bit of jaimini sutra.

In last month bedridden with a severe back pain, not able to move around, lying on bed lot many thoughts came to mind so instead of yearly swot I did a swot for 7 years. Lying in bed with my mother sitting besides me, I saw how old has she become in last few years,years of torture inflicted upon my family has perhaps taken away few years from her life ,the pain and sadness which only a sufferer can understand  was clearly visible on her face,I looked at my sister who was equally sad and worried not only because I was unwell but also because my mother was losing hopes,one cannot do anything except curse from the core of heart all those who have caused such suffering.

regarding my strengths, a desire to get justice made me fight against all odds, i basically dont like fighting or even fighting back,the biggest desire in life has been peace . In my very bad days apart from the mantras given by my Guru I listened Gita,the knowledge straight from SriKrishna and learnt that even if you dont want to fight,you may have to do so as his weapon as and when he desires. Right behind the seat of judge there was a plate displaying a half shloka from Gita:  वीत राग भय क्रोध which kept on reminding me of the presence of SriKrishna. People do ask me about the thing which kept me going,this was one of those.good teachers,family,habits of acquiring and assimilating knowledge,knowing what I wanted and grace of God were my strenghts.

Weaknesses have been many,the first and most important has been being a husband followed by misunderstood and wrong application of laws,every law is designed to create balance and protect the weak, nothing wrong with law, not punishing the wrongdoer is a problem,misinterpretation of law is a bigger problem and thinking yourself above law is the biggest problem,in any land you have to follow the laws as designed by the King,in a democratic setup like ours,by the parliament but sometimes we leave a loophole which allows bad people to misuse it,then there should be a deterrent so as to demotivate people from doing so.

some people have wrong thoughts about the concept of social justice,I dont think social justice can be defined as take from the one who has and give to the one who doesnt- no,this is not how social justice can be defined. when justice itself is defined as; to everyone his due,how can a person claim anything which is not due to him/her? There are no rights without responsibilities, by taking away human rights of anyone, we can not create social justice. when we give something to someone which he/she is not entitled is not called social justice- it is called charity and charity begins at home, so called social justice activists usually dont share their earnings with the underprivileged, kindly tell me if there are a few. Being a husband in a society which doesn’t have a clear concept of social justice is my weakness,

i cant move out of society so i try to help people in clearing their concepts because doing so will be of help to my only son,after all he is going to grow up in the same society, what will money do in absence of concept of justice, just like me and many others,his life may also be destroyed due to such things.

The biggest weakness practically has been contesting the case in my ex wife’s hometown where I was an outsider.

Opportunities; None except being a fighter monk.- fighter because I know my war has not ended and monk because there are no material desires left ,with due respects to all people who tried to stab or backstab me during legal proceeding, I wish the same for their coming generations because there will always be laws and there will always be misusers of law,today its me,tomorrow it may be their next generations. karma comes back ,I wish theirs comes soon within this life. lots of opportunities to curse the wrongdoers. when ever I see my mother sad and depressed ,I sincerely wish ” may all the people who have caused so much sorrow to us face the same hell through their children, and the time it takes them to destroy us be the time limit for them”

Threats; many including being family being robbed through misuse of process of law, fear of being harassed by anyone and seeing that person not getting any punishment, fear of denial of justice but then I am reminded of a very old saying: mothers lap is safest but even in mother’s womb a child is exposed to vagaries of life.

Life Goes on.

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